Tales from the Tank. Septic Tank Writings. From Haikus to Fiction.

Remember, Your septic tank is a member of the family!

Have a good Septic Tank related poem or story? E-mail me!

Once upon a midnight dreary,
While I sat there weak and weary,
I thought I heard an awful sound
An awful sound came from the ground.

While I sat there, weak with worry,
An awful smell came from the ground.

My heart beat quickened, faster, faster!
I prayed that smell meant not disaster!
It rose up slowly...like a plague!
I knew I'd die, if I did stay!

I would have died, if I'd stayed
But I escaped the smell that day.

I cannot say, so much my friend
For my canary, who met her end
In that stinking, reeking, smell
That rose up from the Gates of Hell!

The stink that reeked! The stench that smelled
That rose up from the Gates of Hell!

A warning now, I give to you:
It could happen to you, too!
Beware the stenches and the sounds
That rise up from the Septic grounds!

When smells approach, then clear your head,
Or perhaps like me, you'll end up dead!
- Treshnell

Septic Tank, Septic Tank.
Wisking away wastes all day.
What's that smell?
Oh, Septic Tank.
- Jan Van Tol

green stripe 'round my yard
marks my waste,
nature's gain
Except for that stuff I flushed--never mind
- Gary Bridgman

There once was a weasel named Frank
Who bragged that his, um, poop, never stank
'Til one night he got drunk
And insulted a skunk
Who threw Frank in the old septic tank.
- Naomi Van Tol

We take our ease upon this silken slope,
All unaware how groweth grass so green.
As you upon my resting shoulder lean,
Your soft lips parted with a happy hope,
My thoughts leap freely like the antelope.
The evening's fair (a breeze arrives unseen),
Your face is no less fair, your eyes are keen.
My thoughts revolve like a kaleidoscope.
A loaf of bread, a sip of wine, and thee:
Could ever I aspire to something more?
Such bliss I covet undeservedly...
But, soft, what ails the one that I adore?
Your nose has caught a horrid scent; you flee!
A septic tank lays waste to love and war.
- Naomi Van Tol